When Can My Heart Beat Again
by CelestialSilver35
Summary: What if Anakin was not the only one who fell in love? and Master Jedi, Obi Wan Kenobi is hiding something from his past?
1. ObiWan Kenobi

**When Can My Heart Beat Again**

**Summary:** What if Anakin was not the only one who fell in love? What if Master Jedi, Obi Wan Kenobi is hiding something from his past? What if everything he is not telling is all about a girl?

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**Disclaimer: I own the plot! That's just about it.**

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It has been years since I visited home. Ever since I became a padawan learner I have not gone home, not until now, that is. _It was the day Qui-Gon Jinn found me wondering the streets of Coruscant's Coco town, he rescued me from being an outcast, from being a juvenile and because of that I owed him my life. I trained with him but when I was 25, the Sith Lord had risen again after years of supposed extinction. My master, Qui-Gon Jinn died through the hands of the Sith Warrrior, Darth Maul; and the responsibility was put upon me to train the boy-servant my master rescued from Tatooine. At that precise moment, when the Jedi Council had given me the permission to train him as Qui-Gon requested, I became an apprentice and a master at the same time. I finished my training as a padawan with Master Mace Windu and became a Jedi Knight and after the clone wars, a Jedi Master. My world had been fine and in order (well, mostly in order, if you don't include Anakin's mishaps and sudden urges for arrogance that I have to keep reign) ever since I became a padawan learner, an apprentice, a Jedi Knight and Master, training Anakin Skywalker. But it is not about that that I recount these memories as I walked on the old streets of my home. It is about 'her', the girl I left behind._

We were still young when I've last seen her. My playmate, my best friend, my love; her name is Julia. The last time I had seen her she was standing in my door way begging me not to go; but as the young and ambitious man that I was, I left and never seen or kept contact with her or my family ever again. As a Jedi, I learned to hone my abilities of the force and suppress my emotions, for it is law for a Jedi not to fall in love. This was the very thing I'm teaching Anakin ever since he became my padawan. But how can a mentor teach his apprentice when he himself does not believe the rule? You see, I thought all of these feelings and emotions have left my body when I left, but I guess I was wrong; for just by seeing Julia again, something inside me blazed like a fire that had been longing to be unleashed for so long.

And how you may ask had I seen her again? Well, I was sent for an important mission by the Jedi Council in Coruscant to talk to their leaders and negotiate peace and alliance to the Jedi Knights to fight and finally defeat the Sith Lord once and for all.

"Master Kenobi? The congress will see you now" a hostess said and ushered me into the room where Coruscant's political leaders convened; usually, I am not a big fan of political leaders but for the unity and alliance it is my job to guaranty it.

"May I present, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, of the Jedi Council" the hostess announced as I entered to face five representatives of Coruscant's senate, they were Senators Sage, Mermytia, Zirka, Delandra and Arkow.

"Arkow? No, it can't be. Could it?" I wondered as I looked at each senator and resting my eyes on the last person that was announced.

'Julia' I thought in surprise.

"Is there something wrong Master Jedi?" the oldest of the senators asked.

"Oh, uh…" I cleared my throat, "No, none at all. Shall we proceed?" I asked clearing my mind.

For the past hour, the council and I talked of the actions that must be done against the impending threat of the Dark side. And by the end of the meeting, an alliance was formed.

"Thank you for your cooperation. I assure you that the Jedi's are doing their best to end the reign of the Dark side." I said bowing down before them before turning to leave.

I heard the swooshing of heavy clothes as the senators got up to leave following me out the door.

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**A/N: My first Star Wars fic. I hope you all like it. Please don't forget to REVIEW! Thanks! **


	2. Julia Arkow

**Summary:** What if Anakin was not the only one who fell in love? What if Master Jedi, Obi Wan Kenobi is hiding something from his past? What if everything he is not telling is all about a girl?

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**Disclaimer: I own the plot! That's just about it.**

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"Master Kenobi?" a voice asked behind me as I exited the building.

I turned around, "Senator Arkow" I said with a smile that she returned.

"I wonder if you may grant me this request and have a walk with me?" she asked.

"Of course, senator." I said with a bow and offered my arm to her. She gladly took it and for a few minutes we walked in silence. I smiled as I remembered the game she was playing; we used to play it a lot when we were kids. She had done a bold move and now she was waiting for me to make mine.

"So…" I started but at that moment my mind has gone blank and can't think of something good to say. I cleared my throat and tried again.

"How have you been, Julia?" I asked and I heard her gasp as she stopped walking.

"I- I didn't know you remembered" she stammered, looking up to face me with a surprised expression.

I smiled but did not answer her. After all these years she still hasn't changed. She was still the cautious and beautiful girl I left behind.

We talked about our careers, our lives after I left; but never the life we had before, never the times we were together, never the times we loved each other. She suddenly stopped walking and I looked at her with questioning eyes as I surveyed the place; I gasped as I remembered the place, it was our favorite place, our sanctuary, our haven when we were young. It was the garden at the middle of the forest near her home.

I am to stay for a week in Coruscant, surveying the lace and searching for any presence of the Dark Force. After the unexpected meeting with Julia yesterday, I now wished I brought Anakin with me on this mission. The Force knows he's much more of a responsibility to me know than he was ten years ago. He has grown so arrogant and impatient for the past few years; his disregard of rules has gotten him in more trouble in his missions for the Jedi Council. He was left to protect the Senator Padmé Amidala, I had asked the council not to do this but they refused; I know there is something more between the senator and my young padawan but I can't meddle with the council or with the will of the force. Whatever test he may face working with Padmé I know he can conquer them, but what I'm more worried about is how he will fight the power of his emotions, of his love; I had long wondered what I can do to help him suppress his feelings. I know it's a cold act but as Jedi's we are not allowed to love, but now I that I'm here and am facing that same trial, I now understand how he feels; the battle that is waging inside is unbearable.

She had asked to meet me again at the garden the next day. I know it was a foolish move to agree to see her again, but I did anyway. I had to, I told myself, it would just be a meeting with an old friend, to catch up with her and it would be the last time.

I arrived early at our place, so I meditated to clear my mind and rid my emotions of the fire that was raging inside. I heard a twig snap behind me; I know it was her, I can feel her presence. She was standing still behind me, watching, waiting; a swish of a heavy dress and a warm body sitting next to me.

"Obi-Wan?" she said in a barely audible whisper, and when I did not answer she tried again but still in a soft voice. Still, I did not move; she turned to get up but in one swift move I caught her hand in mine.

"Stay" was all I said and she sat back down beside me.

A few more moments passed and I turned to her with a smile. She smiled back, but I can see that there was sadness in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned. She bowed her head and shook it.

"Nothing" she said in a choked voice.

I lifted her chin up with my hand; I wanted her to look at me. And when I she did tears were in her eyes.

"What's wrong Julia?" I asked again. And a tear trickled down her cheek.

"WH—what happened to us, Ben?" she asked. I looked at her confused, but a few seconds later it dawned to me, she was talking about our past, our times—us!

I wished I knew what to tell her, I wished I can comfort her by saying the right thing, but I couldn't; because honestly, I don't know. I cupped her face and looked into her sad eyes as I shook my head; I wanted her to look at me when I did it, willing for her to read the things I cannot say in my eyes. I wiped the single tear that fell from her eyes and without a word she hugged me, clinging on to me as if her life depended on it and all I can do was to hold her back.

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**A/N: My first Star Wars fic. I hope you all like it. Please don't forget to REVIEW! Thanks! **


	3. I Promise

**Summary:** What if Anakin was not the only one who fell in love? What if Master Jedi, Obi Wan Kenobi is hiding something from his past? What if everything he is not telling is all about a girl?

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**Disclaimer: I own the plot! That's just about it.**

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**_When can my heart beat again  
When does the pain ever end  
When do the tears stop from running over  
When does 'you'll get over it' begin  
_**

It went on for another three days, we saw each other. I know it is wrong. It would be unfair, for both me and her. But the time I see her was the time I did not feel miserable. But the time for me to leave is nearing and I know I should put a stop on our daily rendezvous with the past. What we were back then before I was a Jedi and before she was a Senator were all from the past. We can never be together.

_**  
I hear what you're sayin'  
But I swear that it's not making sense  
So when can I see you  
**_

"Julia…" I began.

"I know" she said before I can even continue what I was about to say. She smiled her sad smile again and walked up to me. She put her hand on my cheek and we just stood there, looking at each other and before I even knew what I was doing, my lips came crushing on to her.

_**  
When can I see you again  
When can my heart beat again  
When can I see you again  
And when can I breathe once again  
And when can I see you again  
**_

That night I couldn't sleep. After what happened in the garden we bid each other goodbye, agreeing not to see each other again before I left. I did not agree at first but she begged me not to see her and as much as I wanted to see her and spend time with her as much as I could, I know in the end that it will hurt her. I can't do that, not again. So I agreed.

_**  
When does my someday begin  
When I'll find someone again  
And what if I still am not truly over  
What am I supposed to do then**_

_**Please hear what I'm sayin'  
Even if, if it's not making sense  
So when can I see you  
**_

**(Julia): I got up to close the window as the chill of the night air came in. I can't sleep and it's all because of him. I wanted to see him but I know I must not. It would hurt too much when he finally leaves... again.**

I saw her get up to close the window I opened. I guess I'm not the only one who couldn't sleep. I stepped out of the shadows as she reached the window.

"Ben!" she gasped. "What…What are you doing here?"

"I wanted…needed to see you again." I answered stepping up to her and holding her against me. She instantly melted in my arms; I looked down to see her smiling up at me.

_**Please hear what I'm sayin'  
Even if, if it's not making sense  
So when can I see you  
**_

We made love that night. And then, the time for me to leave came.

"I love you, Julia."

"I love you too" she said, tears in her voice.

"Don't cry. Please don't cry." I said holding her in my arms. "I will come back for you. I promise when this is all over I will come back for you"

**And with one last kiss, he was gone. The war is not over; it may not be over for a long time. I just received word that the Jedi Council had been destroyed and that Jedi's were getting hunted and killed. The Dark side of the force had won. I don't know if I'll be able to see him again, but those last words he said to me will always keep me strong. He will fulfill his promise; he will come back for me… he will come back to see his son**.

FIN.

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**A/N: My first Star Wars fic. I hope you all like it. I know it's kinda sad but I wrote it to match my melancholic mood. Please don't forget to REVIEW!Thanks! **


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